Ugh.

The indecision is at an all-time high. I'm so indecisive that I cannot even commit to a title for this post.

Blogging is really a challenge for me. I agonize over what the topic of the post should be. Start typing. Erase. Repeat. It isn't writer's block. I have plenty I want to say, and know just how to say it, but I question whether it is blog-worthy.

I'll get there. Or I won't.

Triple Threat: Indecision, Procrastination, and Attention Deficit

This pretty much sums up my current state. I'm exhausted, staring at a pile of work to grade, and because of the medium though which I have to record my students' grades, I find myself wandering through cyber-space and back to my old blog.

This is most definitely a recipe for disaster.

Such a disappointment

Ack!  I just checked my blog for the first time in over a month, which isn't a big deal all by itself... but I have a follower!  I know exactly how disappointing it is to type in an address (or click on a link) only to have the hopes of reading about the new and interesting happenings in other people's lives (because I'm a virtual voyeur) and now I've done that to someone who cares enough about me to follow me.  

Now then.  I have to admit, I can't guarantee thought-provoking comments all the time.  I can't even promise to try to give them occasionally.  But hopefully, I won't be the disappointment that I've been over the last month.  

I do feel like I need some direction with my blog though.  Everyone who blogs has a theme, and while indecision does sum up my life, it probably won't be terribly interesting to read about whether I fret for five minutes about which pair of pants to buy my daughter in a mad rush into Wal*Mart when she has an accident.  So, for all of those who care enough to read (even if you're not a follower), I'll take suggestions.

Indecision and Stubbornness

Yep, my whole blog is based around the concept of indecision.  I am indecisive about pretty much everything, which, I think, keeps me grounded.  I don't make rash decisions.  I have to have a plan. "Winging it" doesn't work for me.  So, when I decided on Sunday that I would be starting the WW thing again on Monday, well, that was too quick for my tastes (pun intended).  Monday I decided I would have nothing to do with that madness (again).  Almost a week of watching co-workers track their intake and tally their water, veggies, and dairy servings, I feel like I'm ready.  I just needed a little coaxing.  So, after dinner tonight, I packaged up many leftover servings in just-the-right-sized servings and calculated my points (for future meals).  I can do this.  psh.  

Don't get too excited.  I'm not going to share all the personal bits.  I have got some dignity left, though I might publicly pat myself on the back when the time comes.

Resignation

There are some things I've just come to accept.  I will probably always be a few minutes late for work.  Laundry will always be my nemesis.  My current group of sixth-graders will talk to a wall if it gives them the chance to talk.  

There are some things, however, that I realized could change if I seek out some sort of help. One of those is finances.  After struggling with Toby to come up with a system that works for us, we resigned our stubbornness and compromised with a program through church.  So far, so good. We're certainly not in the clear, but at least we're on the same page and have a common language to use to get us to the place we need to be, eventually. 

The other is  weight.  So, once again, I'm joining the WW bandwagon.  The meetings start tomorrow.  I guess water consumption will be on the rise, and the remainder of the 11 dozen cookies will be walking out the door with Toby tomorrow.  

Learning verified

So, I ended my last post (*cough*fivemonthsago*cough*) talking about learning from others. So I did.  I had this silly idea that I had to have pictures to go with my posts so I've been less than diligent about posting, because I'm less than diligent about getting pictures uploaded to photo sharing sites, or even off my camera.  Anyway, thanks Amber, for showing me how it can be done.

Not only have I learned, but I watched my daughter learn today.  Something so tiny, so mundane, but so easy to see that a real transfer of knowledge had happened.  And I find it marvelous. Merica was playing with a pin cushion (yeah, yeah, spare me the lecture) and in the process of taking all of the pins out, my aunt offered her a magnet to pick them all up.  Which mostly worked (there were a few aluminum pins that wouldn't play along.)  About four hours later, she dropped one and couldn't find it, so she went to the fridge, found a magnet and started "sweeping" the floor.  Ingenuity at its finest.  There's a reason her progress report looked stellar.  

Time. Everyone wants it. There's never enough of it.

Seems I'm an "A+" procrastinator and I'm always stealing (strike that; borrowing) time from one task to complete another. More often than not, it is that I’m borrowing (strike that; stealing) time from these two to have some down time.

I’m realistic. I know I need some “me” time… but I also know that it doesn’t have to come when Trenton wants to me to read a story or to sing a song. I could certainly learn to build a better train track and how to be Percy. Merica’s an expert at tea parties and making Play-doh biscuits. So, why don’t I enjoy those?

More or less, I don’t use my time to the best of my abilities. I use too much time today planning for what needs to be done today, less time doing what I already have in front of me. There. I said it. I don’t use my time well. But, these two surely know how to use it, and they’re really good teachers. Lots of wisdom there. Rather than borrowing or stealing their methods, maybe I can just watch and learn.